New Shoes

A new brace of gym shoes once were the most charming things in the world. I retrieve believing that somehow and in someway they transformed me into the fastest child on the block.

I would race up and down the stairs. In and out the presence door. Down the block as fast as my small legs could take me.

Pigtails bopping. Wind rushing by.

I was unstoppable.

It wasn't till I got a spot aged did I recognize that a new brace of place didn't made me any faster. Only that the exhilaration of the thought made them look that way. As I grew aged the thought grew littler until one twenty-four hours I never thought much of charming or charming shoes.

I never thought of the escapade they used to carry. Never thought of the topographic points I once believed they would convey me to. Never realized that it was never the place themselves
....only me.

I have got placed a batch of importance on things outside myself for much of my life. Never recognized in all the beauty, all the wonder, all of the things Iodine looked at with such as awe were not outside of me....

They simply reflected all of what was inside of me.

I was the magic and I forgot. But it was still there. It's always been there.

I still felt within the darkness of nighttime the silver, silence of the moon gazing down from above. I still felt the love in the heat of the sun that streamed down caressing and gently nudging everything to life.

I felt the magic....but felt apart from it.

Beliefs that life carried and which I take to drag along for the drive left no room for the magic. Only the inexorable and black mentality of the acrimonious experiences of those that had also forgot they too were the magic.

Trudging along the ways of my life I would sometimes catch glimpses.

The firery detonation of the sun as it sucumbed to the night. Butterflies dance together high into the deep bluish of the afternoon sky. The odor of a thousand dreamings carried within the sugariness of a springtime breeze.

It was always there inside me.
It was still present in the manner I saw things. In the manner I felt things.

I saw the absolute flawlessness of beauty reflected in every moment; yet felt weak in the expansive designing of it all.

A batch of people have got asked me what will go on at this thirty twenty-four hours mark? Volition Iodine go on to write? Volition Iodine widen the experimentation further?

When I initially started this experimentation I had no thought of the manner my life would be effected. I did not have got at the clip an ability to gestate a life more then the 1 I had lived. I could not see past the very restrictions I had created in my perceptual experience of the world. But I was willingly to take these limitations.

Willing to happen another way. Willing to detect the magic again. Willing to happen myself again.

In a dark, dim corner filled with more than hopelessness then trust is where this all began. My experience have revealed to me that the emptiness of hopelessness was actually the trips of hope stirring from deep within

There is never a beginning or an end only the changeless of change. I simply take to let the adjacent portion of my life to blossom before me as I go on forth in this procedure of discovery.

I look back at where I was and where I am now and happen myself astonied at how I have got traveled so far from the beginning. It all moved so quickly once I decided that my life was going to change for the better.

This is not the end...only the beginning. Iodine get again from the end..to detect more than then I ever imagined.

Zoom...zoom.

Look at how fast I go.

The Process Of A Miracle... An Experiment Of Sorts

Is it possible to change one's life in the course of thirty days? To have such transformations occur in which the seemingly limited capacity of comprehension can stretch past it's own boundaries into the untapped potential of possibilities?
I intend to find out through this experiment!

A miracle defined, is an event that is unexplained by the laws of nature... Ok, so what does that mean?

My own interpretation follows this line of reason; that my own view of my personal circumstances or situations openly enter into the realm of the unknown. Deep within the prison cell of my beliefs, my perceptions freely expand to experience life at another level, beyond the depths of reason.

Essentially my beliefs become non-existent in the ever-increasing freedom of my awareness. The potential power of the universe unleashes itself to manifest within my life as an event ,

Only to be described by myself as well as others as a miracle.

So what is this miracle transformation I am intending to occur within the next thirty days? In order for that to be clear I need to explain the current situation or my perception of it for that matter.

I made a decision two years ago that I would go to any lengths to completely change my life. To discard ALL of the beliefs about what I learned or thought I knew. Permitting myself to heal from the limitations I clung to in desperation; living my life in the cesspool of heroin addiction.

I lived in the shadows of existence in a paper bag of hopelessness, fighting for years to stop. Each failed attempt only reinforced the reality of my life as the expression of the cliché

"Once a junkie, always a junkie."

On September 4th, 2005… Instead of fighting the addiction… I began to fight for me. Understanding that the person reflected back to me in the mirror was not who I wanted to be or anything close to I really was.

In order to reclaim the bits and pieces of who I truly was I need I needed a new canvas of life to paint myself on. I needed to forget every belief I held in my consciousness. Thus initiating the process of the miracle to occur within my own personal existence. The re-creation of myself, which simply is the person I am today.

Some may not understand this as a miracle or even dismiss it as one. For those who have had the effects of addiction within their own or by default by those they love; know that it's a miracle. Because the sad, sad truth of addiction is that more die and suffer in it's prison, then those who escape to freedom.

On September 4, 2007, it will be exactly two years since I stuck that needle in my arm for the last time. My life since then has become more then anything I had ever believed possible and continues to be so. I believe I can initiate yet another miracle at this point in time simply because I made a decision that it will be so.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote,

"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen."

I know this to be true for my life is a physical manifestation of the decision I made close to two years ago. It was not easy, very unpleasant at times. But I had the willingness and allowed this process by permitting a "Higher Power" to set the ground rules. Initially this was the staff at the Detox, then the counselor's in rehab and those running the outpatient facility.

I surrendered my life of distorted self-sufficiency to that of the welfare system. I relinquished my life to anyone and anything that had more of a clue how to live other then myself. I finally understood, what I knew about life equaled roughly ten hospital Detox's, three trips to rehabs and several outpatient facilities a trip to jail and too much self inflicted misery..

I'm smart, but my intelligence had nothing to do with creating the life I dreamed of as a little girl. In fact I had created the exact opposite…. a freaking nightmare not only for me but all those that had the unfortunate experience of crossing my path during the years of my active addiction. To put it simply, I was NOT a nice person.

Today I am closer to the person I want to be, closer to the person I really am. But at the moment I'm flailing, I really have no clue. Another junction in the so-called crossroads of life and the signpost are blank. You see this is all new to me, I have not yet written any pages in this part of the book of my life. A wise man by the name "Rev." once told me,

"Life is a book. Each day we write a page in this book by virtue of our behaviors. No erasures allowed!"

I can't change anything that I may have done in my life weather it be good bad or indifferent. But I can write a new story from this point on. I have the power to re-create my life and
re-create myself.

I chose to heal. Heal myself from all the mis-information I gathered from all the other mis-informed people by default. I made a decision choosing what I wanted to experience in this life, instead of clinging to the hopes I allowed others to paint my dreams on.

Those that know me, know that after working at my job for close to two years I just quit. That little voice within spoke volumes of truth that echoed through the illusion of the reality I held on to. I couldn't ignored the truth that no one would have the power for me to live my dreams, except me.

I always thought of "risk" as something in which I would lose something. What I've come to realize though is risk is what I don't stand to gain if not seized when it presents itself as the opportunity of change.

I'm not interested in slaving away at a job for years waiting for the day I retire to "then" live the life I want. I'm not interested in living each day chasing after the illusion of tomorrow and all that it promises, because I lose today.

That's what happened I worked like a dog for the past year and a half, barely scraping by. Thinking it was the way to get where I wanted in life. But there is no "there" so to speak, there is only here. And I want every moment "here" to be one in which reflects a life lived in the unlimited possibilities and not one lived in limitations.

So now here is where I explain the reason for this experiment. The day I walked out of my job, I had no back up plan and no idea of what was going to happen. All I knew that another chapter of my life was about to be written and it was not going to be a chapter I already lived.
I started a website, an initial step in creating more of what I preferred in life. Using my artistic talents to do SOMETHING.

But I had a thought, which then led to an idea, which then led to my website. I think it has potential, I know I have potential. I just need a catalyst to "Start" the reaction.
That's where this experiment comes in. Is it possible to reach over one million people with one idea? To have others read this and participate in the process of a miracle unfolding? I believe so, but I need to know who else believes in the possibilities.

I send out a lot of e-mails and I get a pretty good response with some of these experiments and now I'm taking it to the next level.

I believe this is a kind, generous universe. I believe that for a majority of us we all want people to succeed, to be happy, to be prosperous. We all want this for ourselves as well.

When watching a movie we all cheer for the little guy that risks it all for a dream. Yet when the movies end we all forget that we too have the same desires for our own dreams. The daily bump and grind on the treadmill of "what is" extinguishes away any of the hopes that were sparked.

So how can this truth become a manifestation of a miracle?

With belief, with your participation I know that this can be evident in the results. I'm asking that only others that believe or even want to believe to be part of this.

With an experiment there needs to be a system of measurement right? So how can one measure a miracle?

This at the moment is how I plan on it. I want anyone interested to visit a page in my website. The link is:

http://winksandgiggles.com/Lil_Angels.html

On this page is a bunch of little angels I've made, but there's one in particular that will be the system of measurement. A little angel with "I Believe Miracles are Possible" in the description. I also welcome any POSITIVE feedback, ideas or suggestions

So the intention is there, the idea has been unleashed into the universe at large. Now all that needs to happen is simply the process of the miracle to unfold. Is it possible for me to remove myself from obscurity? To have my intentions realized by this message as it ripples through the universe? To have the intention return to me as the manifestation of the life that resonates as the truth of the life I choose to live?

Will you be "a part" of this or "apart" from the promise of a miracle in your own life? The choice is yours. As for me I already made the decision that this will reach exactly who it needs to in order for this to occur.

The truth of the matter is that if this becomes possible for me then it becomes possible for you. This may scare people because sometimes people would rather just float through life on a cloud of blame in order to dismiss the truth of what they can really be or do. I say this because that truth has been self evident in the results that my life have produced

In the next thirty days I will post the results daily and I invite you all to be part of this. In the meantime, expect nothing less then miracles!